Montpelier, VERMONT (DH)- Vermont declared a State-wide emergency this week as a result of water shortage. The Vermont Drinking Water Conservation Coalition released a press statement this Tuesday declaring that all citizens must join together to fight this shortage."Less than 1% of the water on this planet is usable fresh water," said the coalition's team leader, Sam S. Mug, who gathered with fellow coalitioners on the State House lawn on Friday. "There are many causes of water waste that are 100% preventable. We're here at the State House to let our lawmakers know that their constituency has found the perpetrators: the Pee Shy."
The VDWCC's statement included a tart-tongued accusation that surprised many. They blame the Pee Shy for "needlessly wasting perfectly good water" because of some "namby pamby 7th grade phobia nonsense."
"What will we tell our grandchildren when the fresh water is gone? 'Oh, I'm sorry Zac, young Billy Williams didn't want his girrrlfriend to hear him pEE-ee.' Yeah, well, hope you feel really good about yourself, you just started WWIII, you little sh**"
One young member of the coalition then proceeded to drop trou and urinate all over the State House gate.
Billy Williams was unavailable for comment.
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